I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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