Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize