he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize