i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
