I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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