Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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