So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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