Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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