Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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