He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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