Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
