he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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