dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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