Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
