I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
