ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
