Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
