he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
