Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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