You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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