YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize