Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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