1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
