just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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