Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
