Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
