Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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