So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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