It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
