bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize