Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He told me they were just razor bumps!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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