if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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