I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
