Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you had me at cake vodka
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
third nipple confirmed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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