i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
