Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
