You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
