the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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