Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
