You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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