It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
