im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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