I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Are my feet made of real feet?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
