He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
