Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
