ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
