no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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