so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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