people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize