I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
