at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
