hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is wine microwaveable?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Randomize
