Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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