Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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