so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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