You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
