First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
