Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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