God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
